Although back-to-back Caf dinners have been somewhat of a rarity lately, I can only make so many dishes out of carrots, garlic, and tomato paste. Besides, when the Caf is seemingly trying to make a mockery of itself, all I need to do is give them a little push in the right direction. Don’t mind if I do.

I had several reasons for going to dinner in the Caf tonight: one, I wanted to see if the nutritional information posters had been fixed; two, Wednesdays typically rank as a “Meh” on the Caf-o-meter; and three, because–damnit–I was hungry. According to the nutritional information posters, however, I stuff myself on chicken soup and not gain an ounce:

Which leads me to wonder–why? Why even put the signs up when they are blank? Who in their right mind would go through the trouble of looking up the nutritional information for the chicken soup–update their Adobe Reader, wrangle with the PDF settings, win the paper feeder tug-of-war with the printer–only to print out a piece of paper that contains no useful information? I would keep exploring the topic, but I fear that my mind would literally (yes, literally) implode if I considered the mind-numbing implications of this completely useless task.

So I won’t. Instead, here’s what’s for dinner:

One of my weaknesses–and I am not sure if I should be revealing it online (I may be under surveillance, after all)–is Italian food. Therefore, I was pleased to find this new creation:

Garlic bread!

Wait. Enhance.

Hot dog bun? According to the Caf, this inspired creation has been named “Bread Stick.” I made a point yesterday about taking away diners’ options and serving them right back to them, but this culinary circus trick… I am currently covering my face with my palm. Similarly, observe tonight’s chicken taco dish:

Unless I am mistaken, the taco contains the same chicken used for the sandwich bar’s chicken salad–which explains why there was no chicken salad.

I am not one to respond to unfounded accusations, but after trying to serve me garlic-infused hot dog buns, I feel no remorse; rumor has it that the milk in the Caf comes from a powder. Yeah. Let’s spread that around.